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EXT. GANDHI CHOWK, BRAJRAJNAGAR — DAY, 4 PM
A cloudy atmosphere. It looks like heavy rain is due. I, in bright purple-colored t-shirt and dark blue jeans was standing at the junction, keeping my right leg upon the wall and both hands in a criss-cross fashion. I was waiting. Just then 3 teenage giggling-girls came near the bus stop on my right side. I started staring.
DUDE (from my left side)
Line maarne aaya hai kya? Kaisi lagi maal?
I suddenly moved my eyes towards the voice. For a time, I thought the comment was aimed to me. But, the dude’s eyes were fixated on some other person, likely on my right. I sighed a relief, now acting all stressed up and focused on the job I was there for.
Few minutes passed. I approached towards the nearby jhalmudhi-thela.
ME
Bhaiya, badam banaiye, 10 ka..
The street vendor obliged. few more minutes passed and now I was holding a paper cone comprising 50 gms of badam mixture. Putting some nuts in the mouth, I began to chew.
2 studs in karizmaa came from the right-side main road. I moved my hand signalling them. They noticed and the rider turned the accelerator and moved towards me stopping right beside my left leg.
ME
Dekhke bhai…aaj hi istree ki hai…(looking in the pillion-seated eyes) kya bey RAZA tera
2 min hua ki nai? sala ek aadmi se taana v sun liya..behencho wo v laundi ke wajah se
RAZA
kahan hai laundi? (realising it’s too late) Dekh VIKAS sala tere pudiya ke wajah se devi
darshan nai ho paaya aaj.
VIKAS
Arey gaandu devi to milti rahengi…bhole baba to kabhi kabhi darshan dete hain…arey
wo sala YOGESH kahan marne chala gaya?
RAZA
wo chutiyaa to udhar nikal gaya…ruk call karta hun..
VIKAS
(asking me) Aur bata kya chal raha hai?
(Ignoring his question) I passed the paper cone of nuts towards VIKAS who spread his right palm. Then, RAZA too took some while YOGESH came hurried in his pulsar.
ME
dekh apna launda…chasma kya laga liya..apne aap ko dhoom ka aamir khan samajhne laga…
YOGESH
Tel bharana tha…baap ko fir aamir khan banna hai.
Everybody shared a laugh..right then, VIKAS spurted from his place and attracted all our attention.
VIKAS
pudiya lena tha..aage aur dukaan nai
YOGESH
hum log ped ke neeche milenge fir
YOGESH acknowledge ME to sit beside him and I followed. Soon, we hit the climbing pitch road.
ME
yaar…esa mausam ho to fir brajrajnagar v darjeeling lagega
YOGESH
arey maa kasam…aaj subah se nikal ne ka mann tha…baap chodi ho raha tha
We neared the cigarette shop…YOGESH grew frustrated…”Hayt” was his response.
ME
Yahan se leta hai kya? Ye v rakhta hai? kya baat kar raha hai?
YOGESH
Loda khula nai rakha…ab kya hoga?
ME
Main to hamesha ib nadi se leta hun…ye to mera sutta dukan hai…jaanta hai
sala mujhe.
YOGESH took a u-turn and raced his bike towards our starting point. VIKAS and RAZA were still there..RAZA hooked on his smartphone and VIKAS stucked at the narrow opening of bettel shop with his back towards us.
RAZA(seeing us approach)
Kya hua? Dukaan band? (YOGESH nodded) Aey bihari budhi…dekha band hai
dukaan..ab gaand marao…
ME
IB nadi se laate hain chal…wo khula hoga…
YOGESH hesitatingly agreed after cruel smiley looks from VIKAS and RAZA. We two hitted off…discussed more about weather and roads…then we stopped near the little, black hut shop stationed right beside the ib nadi. Admiring the serene landscape around it, I asked the tea shop.
ME
Baba hai? ek packet do..
While the shop owner got busy drawing the packet, I saw YOGESH near the fish waali..inquiring about the fresh, small fishes that has just been massacred kept in displayed adoringly on the plastic sack.
ME
Abey ek packet ho jayega na? sutta v le lun?
YOGESH
Abey chod na..wo log le ke aayenge…
ME
Aur Paani?
YOGESH
(getting ready in his bike) chal, chal baith…leke gaye honge wo log
So, I took the remaining money from Rs. 100 and our journey in the b’ful weather again kick-started and we were now speeding on the NH-200. We took the turn and right then, some guy standing on the left side of the road, indulged in futile conversations recognized YOGESH and raised his left hand to mark a kinda salute which YOGESH smartly reciprocated.
YOGESH
Ek no. haraami hai saala…13 hazar mar liya hai baap ka…
ME
(excitedly) kya? kaam kya karta hai wo?
YOGESH
uska video ka dukaan hai…photo album banane diya tha…but mera baap to
hai ganwar, bola ek hafte mein mil jayega…aur sala lag laya 10 din…bas aa
gaya ye champu- bola pura kaam ka paisa nai dega..to kitna 4 hazar, nahi 8
hazaar ka nuksaan hua…18 hazar ka deal tha…10 hazar diya…
ME
tu kahan tha tab?
YOGESH
Champu aaya tha dopahar ko..pata hai usko is tym main nai rahunga…
par beta kaam sahi karta hai..jharsuguda mein v naam hai bo…
I got distracted by the sudden turning on the road…I realized I’ve never been this way..this direction which might end up in some cool, exotic locale for cigarette smoking. YOGESH kept the conversation going…
ME
(interrupting YOGESH at his small pause) Ye rasta v Badjob jaata hai kya?
YOGESH
nai bo…Badjob ka to aage wala hai…usme v ek baar gaye the…car leke 6 jan..RAZA, VIKAS, NISHANT, AMIT aur DAVID…chakka phas gaya tha…nikalne mein hi adha ghanta lag gaya..wahin samaan nikaal ke baith gaye apan to…(imitates getting drunk)
I was stunned how easily YOGESH could speak on anything for such long time…YOGESH was still blabbering something…and I got a call from RAZA.
ME
Haan bey..tum log pahunch gaye kya?
(After a pause) Acha acha…hum log…
YOGESH
piche hi hain…wo to rahe (indicating RAZA’s and VIKAS’s position)
ME
pahunch gaye..pahunch gaye..
EXT. UNDER THE TREES – DAY (CLOUDY)
The 4 of us, finding a clean, hard surface; bend down to sit. RAZA already lighted his cigarette…VIKAS was waiting for the weed. ME and YOGESH reached and YOGESH grabbed the gold flake packet out of RAZA’s hands and lighted one flavored honey-dew for himself. I passed the Joint box to VIKAS.
VIKAS
(picking out one joint from the pack of 10 and lighting the matchsticks) sala
yehin pe ghar banana chahiye..esa mausam ho, aur chairs daal lete…
YOGESH
phoonkne ke baad sab nazar aayega beta…
Everybody chuckles…now, it was my time..RAZA and YOGESH were smoking sutta while ME and VIKAS were joint-lovers.
RAZA
Abey aaj dekha hota lahriya ko..kya bak raha tha (laughing)…
esa pela electric wala ko…
VIKAS
sala itna to power cut karta hai…kal din me 6 ghanta hi line tha..
YOGESH
aur behencho jo to voltage rehta hai…
RAZA
haan bey..amit ka baap to ro raha tha…bolta hai 30 hazaar deke
lagaya AC aur yahan to cooler v nai chal raha
ME
(laughing) 5 me fan chalao to 2 jaise lagta hai…(brief pause)
lahriya kya bola?
RAZA
bolta hai.. “tum log ka baap ka hai kya pole? sala jab aate ho,
voltage down kar dete ho. aur wo ek baniya hai jo pata nai kitna
taar le liya hai..uska jaake kaato. yahan ek fan v nai chal raha hai,
aur wo baniya AC chala raha hai..bhago chutiyon”
VIKAS started laughing loud…ME and YOGESH followed.
YOGESH
avi nadi dekh ke aaye bo…khel rahe hain bache…ittu sa paani hai..
ghutna tak v nai aayega
VIKAS
(grinning) kuan mein v paani kahan rehta hai…din mein 12 ghanta
to pump chalta hai
YOGESH
mera bapu to 6 feet chod diya hai aakhir ka..bolta hai balti se kheech ke lao..
VIKAS lit-up another.
ME
(nearing to touch his belt) abbe RAZA, tu kya school wala belt pehna hai?
RAZA
(rejecting the idea) nai to…
Abey us din MOHIT aaya tha na? main nikal gaya tha bey…ye OPM tak pahunch
gaya tha..ghar se aaya call
ME
MOHIT to bey us din itna chaata…2 ghanta bakte raha..kaun kaun sa exam
diya hai..kitna padha kiske liye..hahah…aur wo v totlate huye. Uska mazaa
le raha tha main to..
VIKAS
Tu naukri chod diya?
ME
Socha 2-3 saal masti karte hain…fir degree to hai hi…kuch nai hua to kuch to
kar hi lunga.
YOGESH
Kya bol raha tha us din. Subah 6 baje se bulate hain..nahi karunga bhaag..
ME
Haan bey…loda raat ko 11 baje call aayega aur bolenge kal subah 6 baje aana
hai. Problem to yeh tha ki 10 saal baad main apne aap ko dekh hi nai paa raha
tha us line mein. Ek banda tha..15 year experience…office aata tha, koi kaam nai
bas idhar-udhar aur fir 4 baje bhagega.
RAZA
Aur mahine end me salary
ME
Haan..uska to guarantee hai. Ghar kharidega…car..bike sab EMI me, aur zindagi
bhar us EMI ko chukane ke liye kaam karega jisme mann v nai hai…
Everybody was admiring the point being made.
VIKAS
Main v bola baap ko..6 mahine to naukri karne do
ME
Haan yaar…8 mahine masti to bahut kiya…daaru, ganja, shopping hehehe
YOGESH
Ladkiyaan v hogi…Bangalore ki to ek se ek hoti hain
ME
Par wo to Audi aur BMW walon ke liye. Apne jaise to gay jaise rehte hain.
Roommate hi jeevan saathi ban jaata hai…film dekho, pub jao, football sab
usi ke saath.
VIKAS
(Getting excited over the football topic) Abbe kal ethlico kya haraya bey..
95 minute me real madrid ka 1 tha..aur ethlico ka 0…sala penalty me jitta
YOGESH
kal to knight rider v chod diya…
RAZA
sab pollard ke liye…kya player hai..maa kasam
VIKAS
arey pollard hi to tha jo isse pehle wala v jitaya tha…wo mumbai ke saath
ME
(not getting any of these sports fanatics’ words) Kolkata ka captain kaun hai avi?
akritik 