Whatever I’ll be writing in this post, I will actually say the same to my parents and grandmother the next week when I’ll meet them after almost 3 months; and the first time I disappointed them to the extent that they all went through a very sad time because of me. Just keep in mind that I absconded, or rather as I call ditched my decent-pay salaried job and now I’ll try my luck in Films.
Human mind is so brilliant because, in my opinion, it never cease to ask questions! What generally people fail to ask, or actually don’t like asking is “what are they actually doing here?” I mean what’s the purpose of a human life? Why God(?) sent us here, in this earth? In this world of existence? He never asked me where you want to go, in which family or which country or which living creature? For those who believe in Hindu mythology, a 100 years in our present world is 1/10th of a second in Brahma’s life. For those who don’t know, Brahma is the creator of the universe and all life forms. He maybe can answer the questions I raised above.
Unfortunately, I cannot answer this question. I think no living human can. Even if someone says he/she knows the answer, no one will believe him/her. And why should one? I mean I don’t think any Human is more intelligent or wise in this matter than me. And there are millions like me. The point is human life is worthless from a human point of view. If we are living (i.e. doing something) without knowing actually what for, I say that’s just a f*cking joke.
The total population of the world is more than 7 billion. If we try to estimate all the unique, different individuals who ever walked on earth, I’m pretty sure that number will be somewhere in trillions, if not more! Now, how many of these trillions does a normal, common man knows? A few thousands maybe! Or if he’s got a really big memory, maybe a million. But what about the rest of trillions? They lived or are living just as the rest of us. Some died young, others get old and then died and some are still living awaiting death like us. Dying is the only bond that we all trillions of human lives shared or rather signed with our creator(s).
But a normal human being wants to be happy and satisfied. That’s what we all want, isn’t it? Now, everybody has a different perception of happiness, of satisfaction. Some need a car or a b’ful wife or the highest paying job. And they all try to achieve their aim. And they get lost in their aspirations and they don’t care anything about other stuffs, like corruption or inflation or politics or science & technology or poor, starving African kids or God. They don’t want to leave their comfort zone of branded apparels or latest technology or the new soap operas! They don’t care about asking more enlightening questions like why we dream? Or why we die? Or for that matter, why we live?
I asked all these questions. I read about dharma and buddha’s philosophy. That life is all about suffering – everybody suffers – the dog, the elephant, the father, the son, the postman, the doctor or the entrepreneur. Suffering is common to all and in between these harsh, ruthless lives, we find moments of happiness that we cherish like my new nexus 7 or my glorious career path or how I kicked it for some struggling life in movies. Why, you think? Because I want to be happy and satisfied. I can’t work 9 to 5 job and return home and watch the idiot box and then sleep and follow that routine for the next 40 years of my life or till I die. I didn’t find any meaning in all that. It was and is a worthless, pitiful life that normal beings live just like a cow or a dog. Just do what you’re told to!
And so I left the organisation, or as they termed “absconded.” I’d never been so excited. Adventure called me and I give it in. I roamed half the country – from Karnataka to Tamil Nadu to Andhra Pradesh to Odisha to West Bengal to Bihar to Assam to again West Bengal to Chattisgarh to Madhya Pradesh to finally Maharashtra. I thought I’ll make my own career, struggling. But, I couldn’t without yours’ blessings and well-wishes! And so I return to family in Pune and talked with my bro-in-law who guided me and RD came again as a Messiah and now I’ve some proper channel I want to go for. Let’s see what will happen in future but it’s going to be interesting, that’s for sure and I’m gonna love every moment of it – be it struggle, poverty, happiness or satisfaction. I’ll have all that I cry for and I’ll make movies and tell stories!