This is my life and its ending one minute at a time
~ Maybe Jack
Its almost midnight here on 9th April, 2014. I cant sleep, not that I’ve anything important to do, but I woke up today at 11am and I’m not tired yet! Life’s going smoothly. Yeah, sometimes I face troubles usually financial or emotional; but otherwise everything’s rock steady. I have realised now that there is a large probability that I may not even find what I’m actually looking for! I think I should cry sometimes to pacify my young heart and always thinking brain.
Like today during office (yes, I work. For a big MNC, as a matter of fact), I was rehearsing for a small, 20 mins skit to be performed on 11th at Taj Vivanta, Mahaballipuram. It’s a company outing kind of thing. 400 people, 10 AC Volvo buses, 5 star hotel stay, lots of fun events and unlimited cocktail party are some of the big attractions. The party kick-starts in less than 12 hours, as of now. At first, I tried my best to keep myself away from this kind of chutiyaapa (bogus-ness). And I succeeded to a point after which they called me and handed me over a script telling that these are my lines and I’m acting, dancing and doing stupid things to make audience laugh. I said “I know nothing about dance or acting and I am pretty bad in stage, I may forget my lines or I may even faint” They didn’t wanted to hear my story as they were in real need of actors and I got the job of Kishan, an alcoholic villager..what the hell?
Now if I have to do something, I try to achieve perfection although
perfection is a myth
so I wanted less dialogues, minimum expressiveness and kinda like a filler role where I can bring my own rendition perfectly. I succeeded here but they thought I’m good and gave me more lines and more expressions and more screen timing. Fuck, now I don’t care about the play or my role anymore.
I came back from this frustrating day at office and try to find solace in my 1bhk flat which I share with a friend from college. He likes all these things…you know being social and participative unlike me. I have no qualms but I think there are more serious things to care about in life than just enjoying what we have! There’s over-population, environmental damage, corrupt governments, starvation, poverty, rapes, and what not!
Sometimes I think we, humans live in the worst period of time. Not that we are not advanced, but in a advanced state of decay. The fact is, now we have information and it is a dangerous power. I would have loved the life where I am confined to a small village in 5th century A.D., where there is simple, happy life rather than living in a big metropolis where I see injustice everyday. Yet, we all try to be happy knowing awful things which just breaks my heart and make lump in my throat and hate my life even more.
I have found the reason of human suffering. It’s something we all know and adhere to. Our parents teach us before we are even born. And worse, we love to proclaim this. Proudly. You want to know what’s that. Well, it’s COMPETITION.
Cruel right? The thing we all are told that it’s a good thing is actually the reason behind all of human suffering. Imagine for a moment that competition doesn’t exist in our world. People no longer have to do things…they will need to! Every human be it a madman, a homosexual, a handicap or just an ordinary person all will be equal. They will want to contribute. To live in world of cooperation and homogeneity. I know you’ll say it’s impossible – a dream which will never come true. And I’ll say
You may say I’m a dreamer. But, I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will be as one.